Mary Had a Little Lamb:

Mary had a little lamb

did she love it not, she

sold it at a car boot sale

for a tamagotchi

Mary had a little lamb 2:

Mary had a little lamb

she tied it to a pylon

100 volts went up its leg

and turned its wool to nylon

Mary had a little lamb 3:

Mary had a little lamb

she also had a bear

i sometimes see her little lamb

but i've never seen her bear.

mary had a little lamb 4:

mary had a little lamb

she took it up to reading

tied it to a lamppost

and kicked its fuckin' head in

mary had a little bike:

mary had a little bike

she rode it across the grass

but every time the wheel went round

the spoke went up her arse

There once was a man called Keith:

there once was a man called Keith

who circumcised boys with his teeth

it wasn't for leisure, or sexual pleasure

but to get to the cheese underneath

there once was a man from kentucket:

there once was a man from kentucket

if anything moved he would...